Oct
3
Time never waits
October 3, 2009 | |
Moon cake festival, a day where family should be eating dinner together.
However, I didn’t. My parents decided to go for church gathering first then only to family gathering.
I don’t know. But somehow I believe differently than my parents now. I would rather spend time with the relatives. Than spending time with the “family in Christ”. Looking at my cousins, and how the kids grow. I realize that time don’t wait people. It is the people who wasting their time. I wasted my time. Too long. And never had the chance to move on. Only able to mourn the lost and hate the enemies. I guess, my life will be black and white.
My whole day sucked. I don’t know why, but I just have no motivation on all things. My speakers are broken, the car lights are broken, and I’m broke. What else? Me dead?
Too many weird dreams I have recently. Broken my left ring finger while riding a bike. Went back to time and meet my 1st ex. I’m found dead, found my mom, and she say the heaven is too late for me. I mean what the hell? Not to be superstitious but I do believe that my dreams indicates something will happen. Just like what happens on my past relationships.
A tutor once said that it is not healthy to talk to self especially looking at the mirror and talk to self when not happy or angry. It may lead to mental abnormalities. I did those, even now, when I am emo. Especially when I went wild last year. Sometimes, I wonder, am I insane? I heard stories about my family, is it possible that I am genetically passed on?
“Haha. Perhaps” I guess that would be the last attempt that I will continue being a sunny boy. I don’t want to go anywhere now. I’m tired. Wanting to make people to happy selflessly is pain in the ass to me. But I still want to hold on. If only hope is given. If, if only.
